because none of us is fucking up like we think we are, is what i'm trying to say

Thursday, 17 December 2009

It Doesn't Prove Anything.


When stopping for McDonald's petrol yesterday, I had to navigate a tricky bit of winding, bendy road as I navigated off of the dual carriage way.

As I indicated right I was somewhat aware of what looked like a uniformed police officer in an unmarked car sat in the layby. Always a model citizen (shut up! You at the back!), I made a mental note to watch my speed/indications/hands-at-two-and-ten.

I approached a stupid painted-in-the-raod-like-a-big-white-cow-turd circular roundabout (oh wait, are there any other kind? Of course it was circular! D'uh) and stopped. I looked both ways. I calmly indicated my intention to turn left, and put the car into gear as I pulled away to the right and congratulated myself on using the painted circle as intended, rather than just driving right over it as I might have done had I not seen the unmarked police car.


On my way around the roundabout, another car pulled out and came straight at me. It was a middle-aged man, in a suit, so automatically I stuck my middle finger up at him and shouted, "BLOODY BUSINESSMEN THINKING THEY OWN THE ROADS! READ THE HIGHWAY CODE!" and then I might have added 'Wanker' to the end of that but I can't be entirely sure. Swearing like that would be most unlike me. I shook my head vigorously as the ignorant businessman looked vaguely bemused and carried on regardless.

"I don't believe it," I thought to myself. "Some people think the rules are for everybody but them. Idiots in suits- never any consideration for anybody else. Animals- that is what they are. Animals. The lot of them." And then I tutted.

You see, though, the thing is, that when I pulled into the car park, I realised that I had come in the exit. As in not the entrance.

I looked around.

I had gone around the roundabout the wrong way.

Sorry Mr. Businessman.
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