"Look, Laura. We got our copy of TALLULAH! today..." she said.
"Ooooh! That was fast!" I enthused, all smiley and happy and positive. Mama had been so excited to see what I had been working on, and she had enjoyed the bits I had read out to her over the webcam last week. I dropped my smile, though, when I realised Mama was neither smiley nor happy nor positive back.
"Laura," she said, and I thought to myself STOP SAYING MY NAME LIKE THAT. "It's very rude."
"Rude?" I said, shocked. Well. Okay. Maybe not shocked. But I did warn her.
"Yes Laura. Rude. I don't think I should show your father this... It's a bit of blue for the dads, but maybe not for this dad."
"Oh," I said. I had mentioned that perhaps Papa should let sleeping lions lie. Lay. Whatever the saying is. I do say the words frigging off at one point, that much is true. "Well, you ordered another five copies that I was going to post today. Do you still want them?"
Mama paused. "Well... yes. I've ordered them now. But. Well. I don't know who I can give them to. I don't think my sisters should see this either."
"You are kidding me!" I laughed. "It isn't that bad!"
"Laura! You talk about a boy getting his hand in your knickers on a bus!"
"THAT IS A FICTIONAL STORY MAMA!" I cried. And then I blushed.
"Well regardless, LAURA. You and I have the same sense of humour. But to everyone else it's just... it's just dirty. I think I'm a little disappointed in you."
Well you raised me, I thought.