So I am about to become a 25 year old graduate. A Creating Writing graduate, no less. That essentially means that my career advisor on campus suggested that I practice looking in the mirror and smiling as I say, "And would you like fries with that?"
I've struggled to figure out exactly what I might do once the safety net of a university campus gets taken from me. On the one hand, I spend an awful lot of time listening to 18 year-olds in the library talking about just how wasted they got last night and how they only need to pass this module anyway. What's a first-class honours again? I hear them over the top of Bruch's Scottish Fantasy and pretend that my perusal of people.com is like, way more academic than they could ever hope to be. I'm so over it.
On the other hand, I look at friends from school, already out there in the field, all careers and babies and engagement rings, and I think, is that it? Is that what is next? Because I'm just fine with having to go get drunk with the rugby team if it is. I DON'T CARE WHAT KIND OF CARD THEY USE ON THE INVITATIONS. Or if the napkins match the tablecloth stitching. So sambuca or rum, fellas?
In the meantime, have a video. You're welcome. When I performed this at a spoken word workshop, I worried that I was trivialising myself, cheapening what I write by lowering the tone to that of basic genitalia. There are wars, and tsunamis and dictatorships happening, and all I do is reference minge. Then I remembered this website.
A quiet chap at the back of the room coyly raised his hand after I mused aloud about my misgivings, and then he said the wisest words I think any of us might ever hope to hear.
"Laura," he said. "Don't worry yourself about things like that. Know that wars, tsunamis and dictatorships come and go, but minge? Minge is eternal."
Then somebody commented about my job as a writer being to get under the foreskin of people. Watch the video to get that joke, because I think I might get it as my next tattoo.
This Isn't The Version I Told You Before from Laura Jane Williams on Vimeo.