Or treacle sponge and custard.
Or fish pie.
Or nachos with sour cream and refried beans and guacamole.
I'm just going to go on ahead and change the name of this website to fatbitch.com (TIP: don't type that into your web browser at work.)
When I lived in the States I didn't have this overwhelming desire to cross oceans and rivers and mountains and cities to return home for a weekend just to eat stuff I miss. And I absolutely did not write lists of Eating Stuff I Miss on the bus. But then again, I was probably too busy getting confused over the nickels and dimes and quarters. I'd pay for everything with bills and save the shrapnel for the self-service checkout at Walmart where periodically I'd go and buy a box of Krispy Kremes. It's hard to miss anything when you have a box of doughnuts
Also: you do the same, right? RIGHT? The lists? The doughnuts? THE OBSESSIVE HATEFUL BEHAVIOUR TOWARDS MOST THINGS?
My friend from work also had to be in town half a day before her shift started since neither of us is within walking distance from our job, so we met for lunch in the park except that by park I mean Dog Park and that means we spent a lot of time watching canines poop.
When she asked if I wanted to move on and pop to the store with her, I said yes.
She took me to like, THE BEST STORE EVER and it was huge and dark wood and stacks and stacks of food everywhere BUT REALLY GOOD IMPORTED FOOD. Dairy Milk! Old El Paso! Twinnings! BETTY CROCKER FROSTING IN A TUB!
I loves me some Betty Crocker frosting in a tub.
I asked my friend if she thought anyone would mind if I sat in the corner and had a wank. She laughed. I wasn't kidding. Then I saw Ribena and had a little mini food-gasm right there on the floor. This is so close to my work that I could eat Heinz Baked Beans and salad cream ALL OF THE DAYS.
And that is the story of The Best Day. The absolute Best Fucking Day.