because none of us is fucking up like we think we are, is what i'm trying to say

Wednesday, 22 August 2012

Giulio


There have been several prominent themes to this blog over the past few months, and I’m no idiot; I can see how they all link together. I mean, there’s no such thing as coincidence, after all, and if everything is related and nothing is chance, I’d be pretty dumb not to recognise that BLATANTLY fulfilling my potential feeds into DREAMERSchool which feeds into paving a path for my own dreams which feeds into moving to London aka the place where I can sell a book, which of course feeds into fulfilling my potential again and thus, HI THERE, CYCLICAL NATURE OF LIFE AS WE KNOW IT.

I mean, if I have to be stuck in a cycle of my own making, I’m pretty stoked it’s this one. The cycle of being drunk, sleeping with inappropriate boys, wondering why nothing was ever enough and so drinking and sleeping with more inappropriate boys to fill the void was, well. Not as productive as the phase I’m currently in.

Kind of fun, though.

Anyway, I make no secret of loving my job, and building my tribe, and following the signs and heeding the omens. Thing is, one never expects those things to be delivered in the package of a fourteen year old boy.

We asked our colors to give a presentation of what is most important to them, of what represents them as they are or as they want to be. Giulio, in his John Lennon glasses (“It’s not casual…” he said, “They are the glasses of my hero,”) and with his video camera permanently scanning for a focus (“You want to nickname me Woody? OKAY!") made me cry hot sweaty tears over his absolute certainty on his purpose, his path, and his ultimate destiny when he spoke.

(I CRIED. I’M SURE YOU’RE WEARING YOUR SURPRISED FACE. I KNOW.)

I have no doubt that back when I was an angel in the sky, I arranged to have Giulio cross my path this summer. I was always meant to meet him.

When I was 14 I was sneaking into nightclubs and losing my virginity and dying my hair blonde. (Let the jury note, though, I was still top of the class.) At 14 years old Giulio understands that the things he allows to influence him will shape him, and that if he wants to be Woody Goddamn Allen then you bet your ass every book, film, album, friend, interaction, ALL THE THINGS, must in no uncertain terms contribute to realising that dream and in absolutely no way compromise it.

I’m only just learning that, and I’m closer to double his age than I’d like. And here is Giulio, barely a teenager, effortlessly helping to teach it me.

He stood in front of the class and he said how his biggest influence was the Beatles, because they taught him that “In the end, the love you take is equal to love you make.” He told us a story about the first time he heard them on the radio, and how the lyrics to their songs pushed him to explore the world around him, and so he found his love for books and comics and cinema. And music, of course.

I asked Giulio one night at dinner, I said, “Giulio. Gimme a list. Tell me your films and albums and books and influences.” And he did. (Download it here!)

Throughout my holiday last week I did downloading and reading and listening, and as part of All The Culture and I saw Life is Beautiful on Giulio’s staunch recommendation. THAT FILM. Internet- I can’t believe I’ve never seen that film before, except that I can believe it because the nature of art is serendipitous, and that film came to me at the exact right moment because BAM. After being wowed into a stunned silence by the imagination of a man who could pen a story so simultaneously heartbreaking and inspiring and comedic and devastating, I came back to DREAMERSchool to see that one of the workshop leaders that week would be… THE GUY THAT FUCKING WROTE (WROTE!!!!!) Life is Beautiful.

For the eleventy thousandth time: coincidence does not exist.

And to further prove my point, the woman accompanying the great writer who is Vincenzo Cerami approached me after dinner one evening to say I think I know you from somewhere…

Turns out I taught the son of Vincenzo Cerami’s assistant when I lived in Rome, and suddenly I WAS TALKING TO THE WRITER OF THE BEST FILM OF ALL TIME ABOUT MY BOOK AND HE WAS NORMAL AND AMAZING AND KIND AND POSED FOR A PICTURE WITH ME EVEN THOUGH IT WAS REALLY HOT THAT DAY AND I SMELLED LIKE A BOY.

And after he’d gone I knew that had Giulio never crossed my path I wouldn’t have ever watched the film in the first place. Had I not watched the film, I’d never have fallen in love with the man who wrote it. Had I not fallen in love with the man who wrote it, I’d never have said hi to him when he came to DREAMERSchool because I wouldn’t have cared who he was. If I hadn’t said hi I wouldn’t have met his assistant, who recognised me from another life, and I wouldn’t have spoken to OSCAR-WINNER VINCENZO FUCKING CERAMI ABOUT MY BOOK and thus I wouldn’t have had the earthly confirmation that:

1.     Successful people are not gods. They are normal. We can all fulfil a dream.
2.     We are part of a bigger creative tribe than we realise. We meet the people we are supposed to meet.
3.     14 year-old boys are my favourite.

Basically, I focused, found myself some inspiration, and then came face-to-face with that inspiration within the next twenty minutes.

Proof again that if you really do want something, the whole universe conspires to help you achieve it. 

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