because none of us is fucking up like we think we are, is what i'm trying to say

Friday, 30 December 2016

Do Not Change

superlatively rude

Darling Laura: some things for 2017. It’s that time again.

Go to bed early. Stretch every day. Food is fuel, first.

Wank. Stay soft. Be generous, but not a mug. Believe him when he tells you what he is.

Call home. Take the flight. Expect nothing, experience it all.

Miss people.

Light a candle, lose a day to reading, photograph things just because. Wear red lipstick and eat with your fingers and laugh, loudly and without apology.

Do not change.

For 2017, do not make promises to yourself on how when you fix this and alter that, you will love yourself more.

For 2017, forget pushing and becoming and targets and goals. For 2017, be. The woman you are is already enough. She always was.

You do not need to be thinner, or bendier, or take a biotic culture supplement every morning.

You are not more loveable by having inbox zero, nor more likely to get into heaven because you spent £35 on the good shampoo.

Your family adore and respect you whether you sell three books or three million.

The world does not turn on its axis because you found time to do the laundry.

Everything is already just fine. Forget all that other stuff. Your 2017 focus is you.

Do not change.

You went through a war, this year, and you have battle scars. But. In order to thrive after you’ve survived start from this: know that you do not have anything to prove.

Exhale, babe. Breathe deeper. Breathe slower.

Do not change.

What will matter to you this year is proper time off. I don’t mean working like a dog until you’re so exhausted that you can’t enjoy time off, I mean daily time off. Do less in a day. Focus on your health, and your sleep, and giving proper attention to the ones you love.

Work is taking care of itself. You’re good at what you do: trust that.

Trust that you’re good at what you do and so this is the year that you do less of it, for more money. With more money, you can ease the hustle, and when you ease the hustle you’re happiest. You’re not built to go out every night and network all day. You don’t do well with so much on your plate: so don’t do it. When you follow your bliss you always end up okay.

Keep following.

Be single-minded in it.

Don’t let yourself get distracted.

You don’t have to do it like everybody else does.

Do not change.

Make new friends this year. You’ll like that. Have the coffee, the cocktail, the dinner. Find more common ground with the people who don’t look like you, sound like you, think like you. You need a community of people who aren’t only thirty-year old Instagrammers.

Branch out.

You’re hungry for more connection, but nobody will know that until you tell them so. You’ve found your voice and now you’ve gotta use it, doll.

Book the tickets. Don’t wait for permission to find out more about what interests you. Wondering about if you’d like to go means you’re already intrigued. If you have to do it alone then smile at strangers when you make eye contact and sit with your shoulders back and chin high and Tweet about it, if that makes you feel less lonely. Maybe invite one of those new friends along – that’s an idea. You’re so very good at spending quality time alone. Maybe think about letting a few more people in.

(And, you know, I shouldn’t have to point this out but I will, just to be sure: by “people” I mean “people you aren’t looking to bang”.)

You didn’t have good sex this year, and that’s because you and “Vanessa”, as you call her, haven’t been looking after each other. Your best orgasms “cum from” intimacy, and a tight pelvic floor. The gym is already helping with that second bit. As for the former? You’ll get there.

Every date is more information, and that information is taking you closer to a love that you deserve, and want, and will get.

Do not change.

The things 2017 has in store for you are things you cannot imagine, nor prepare for.

Don’t you want to be surprised?

Don’t you want to be delighted and charmed and by the twists and turns, knowing whether you tried to control it or not it was always going to be this way?

There’s nothing you can do to make it better. Nothing you can do to make yourself better. It’s all already in motion. Your only job is to enjoy it.

I think that’s my point. For 2017, your task is a straightforward one: relax.

Do not change, sweet, gorgeous girl. Simply become more like yourself.

(I collated my 2016 "Moments" on Twitter here, if you'd like to see the full story of my year.)

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