because none of us is fucking up like we think we are, is what i'm trying to say



"It's sort of like a secret internet club where I can think about and talk about and dream about the things that I’m not brave enough to put out into the universe." – Lauren

Questions are fucking petrifying. Once you ask them you find out what your values really are - and once you know your values it’s really hard not to make decisions. Decisions about your life. About the way your mother speaks to you or your boss treats you or decisions about what you can’t stand for another day and what you want moremoremore of. When you know your values it’s impossible not to stand up for yourself, not to be proud of yourself, not to forgive yourself for being brilliant and flawed. The magical answers to life and love and happiness that we all crave – they start by asking. When you ask the question, you get answers – and answers mean action.

"I'm in. In to ask the questions that will lead me to letting go of those moments when I feel I'm not living up to standards I didn't set." - Kristi

I get dozens of emails from readers who think I have the answer. I don’t have the answer. But. My superpower for contentedness – for an existence that I am going balls to the wall on, and am wildly, deeply in lust with, for being wildly and deeply in lust with myself – is that I ask the difficult stuff. I prod and I poke and I search and I wonder, and I crack open even the teeniest of my dark so that I might shed in light. That’s a process that, until January 29th 2017, I’m gonna share.

"I think I have just hit on something. I needed this." – Gabrielle

"I've been following your work for a while now. The way you write is so fucking fantastic. Your honesty is seriously refreshing. You have literally taken life by the balls and that, my stranger friend, is what I want to do."    - Suzanne 

Welcome, then, to Ask The Question: 12 weeks of emails for £12, from both me, and the women I admire, designed to empower the shit out of you, in any way you decide works for you.

Consider each Sunday evening assault on your inbox like the mate who belligerently calls you out on your bullshit because she loves you so much that she can’t but smack you upside the head when, over your fourth vodka cocktail, you still can’t seem to understand how much fucking ass you really do kick. The friend who forces you to hold a mirror up to your flaws, your triumphs, to the hopes you daren’t even whisper out loud.

"Thank you again for inspiring me to think in this way." - Sophie

Use the prompts as discussion points at dinner, for a blog post or journal entry, to muse over as you cook dinner. Explore your own daringness – intimate question by intimate question – and don’t shy away from what you want to say. You just wait and see what happens when you do that. You just wait and see…

I want you, you clever, wise thing, to write your own advice. Even if your life is good, you know it could be even better. Exercise the muscles it takes to push yourself into creating an existence you are truly proud of, in your very bones. Happiness is a practice.

I can’t tell you your answers. But if it’s permission you need to go on right ahead and own your life according to what you think is right? I’ll fucking give it to you.

Ask the Question.

Your everything is waiting for you.

(But only until next Friday, when subscriptions close. So. Get involved NOW.)


Frequently Asked Questions:

What exactly do I get for my money?

You get 800 words from me AND an interview with a smart woman I love and think you will too, to your inbox, at 6 p.m GMT, every Sunday until Sunday 29th January (FYI except on Christmas Day, obvs.) I’ll tell you what I’m working on, picking apart the thing until I’m left with the intimate, revealing stuff, and I do that as a way to hold up a mirror to you, and issues you might be having with that same thing. Then, I ask you the same question I am asking myself, and that week’s interviewee. It's basically a ~safe space~ to really get down in the trenches, doing the dirty work.

Is Ask The Question a correspondence course?

Ask the Question is not strictly a correspondence course, no. Last year some subscribers sent me their responses to that week's prompt, simply to have written it down, and some wrote public blog posts or social media captions to share *their* process. The prompts are designed to be a cumulative body of inspiration that you return to again and again. When “Ask The Question” ran between February and August last year, subscribers were opening their emails up to 60 times, from locations as diverse as the U.K. and Germany, Sweden and Bali, Australia, America and New Zealand - so really, how you use this is on you. ISN’T THAT EXCITING!!!!!!

So basically this is like, an advice column then?

Nope! Ask the Question is just one person’s story of becoming, honestly and ruthlessly shared to help you find your voice, too. Storytelling is powerful that way. It’s storytelling that will change the world. What’s your story?

What kind of questions did you ask when this ran last time?

Ohmygod. Last time I sent weekly emails about how you’ve gotta find your own version of brave, what we find out by going over the edge instead of colouring-within-the-lines, finding boundaries, deciding how we want to feel, on kindness and learning to spread it, pain as habit, the freedom of commitment, asking for an apology, the virtue of not knowing, action v. desire… and all of it was explored simply by telling a story about my week and how it got me to thinking. I cannot reiterate enough times that this is not advice. It’s like, un-advice.

Isn't this basically charging people to read your blog?

No and yes, to be very honest. I open up my heart as wide as I can on the blog – though I blog less lately - and love doing that. The community we have here is the reason I am able to lean in to the moments of bravery and boldness I have in my life - I know y'all are rooting for me, and so I'm rooting for you, too! The internet is awesome like that. The blog is, though, often retrospective. Sort of,
 this-is-what-happened-and-here-is-my-resolution. Even if the resolution is "I don't know." There tends to be a narrative arc to the blog posts, with a beginning, middle, and end. #AskTheQuestion is built differently: more "here's the spark, here's what it opened up to me, here's how I'm trying to work through it." It's designed to be more pro-active: a deliberate provocation to action, for both of us.

How much does it costs again?

It’s a one-off payment of £12. You’ll be signed up for the whole course. No refunds ;) Oh! And subscriptions close on Friday 4th November, so that you can enjoy the full three-months.

Cool! Where do I sign up?


See you on Sunday 6th November for the first email!

(After your payment has been processed, you'll receive a confirmation email that can take up to four hours to arrive, so sit tight. I just need you to click a link to confirm it's okay to add you the mailing list. THANKS, BB.)


Here are some things lovely people Tweeted about Ask The Question last time around ----->

for any further questions, Tweet me!
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